Portal: Truth or Dare
by FeeptheNinja
Summary: We-me, Rishi, William, Arya, and A.J.- have trapped the Portal characters in a room together... and are ready for a game of TRUTH OR DARE! Accepting Dares, Truths, and OC's, so come on down and help us torture the Portal characters!
1. Chapter 1

TRUTH OR DARE: IN WHICH WE TORTURE PORTAL CHARACTERS

The camera pans over to a girl of 13. She is grinning, and it's not a sane kind of grin. She's wearing an orange t-shirt with the Aperture logo on it, as well as the words 'TEST SUBJECT' and a barcode under the logo. It was printed in white. She was also wearing jean shorts, and a bandana tied in the manner of a sweatband around her head. It was black, and bore the Portal 2 logo. There are also 4 people standing behind her.

"Hi guys! It's me, FeeptheNinja! And these are my friends! You should remember them from _Portalmon_'s interlude, but if you don't, these are Rishi, Arya, A.J., and William! And I am sure you all know why we are here…"

"To mourn the death of the Fourth Wall?" Rishi piped up. Feep gave him a look.

"No. In fact, I don't miss it at all. Damned thing just made life harder. Breaking it was the only fun thing to do with it." At this, everyone gasped.

"Corah-" A.J. began.

"FEEP!"

"You swore!"

"No shit, Sherlock. That's one of the reasons it's rated T?" All were silent.

"It's rated T?" Feep facepalmed.

"Yes. Read the memo."

"… Oh!"

"Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I would like to welcome our… _guests_."

"Hostages, more like!" came an irate, rather computerized voice from the other room.

"Oh, stuff it, GLaDOS. Don't make me regret keeping you in that body for the time being." And with that, Feep unlocked the door and stepped in, the 4 others following. Once inside, she locked the door again. And vaporized the key with glitch fire. Everyone was suddenly dead silent.

The room really didn't look too bad. It just looked… strange. And it probably had to do with the fact there were more AI in here than humans. And possibly the huge AI hanging from the ceiling… hell, everything about this room was weird. Cool.

"Is everyone present?" No one made a sound… of course, except GLaDOS.

"Yes. Everyone is here. Against their will, of course." Feep glared at GLaDOS again.

"You're lucky I love you so much, or you'd have a virus or three billion by now." She growled. One of the cores on the ground spoke up.

"Fact: It is not a good idea for an AI to piss off a ninja with extreme control over the glitch element."

"Great. At least someone has some sense here." Feep noted, looking at the pink-eyed core on the ground. "Good call, Fact. Anyway, you have a bit before your untimely torture begins. For we are going to play… the very first game EVER of Portal Truth or Dare! But we don't have enough dares and/or truths yet to make a proper chapter. So I'll just introduce the people playing so far." She paused. "And…now."

ALL PLAYING

FROM GAMES:

-Chell

-GLaDOS

-Wheatley

-Rick

-Fact

-SPPAACCEE!^^

-Curiosity

-Morality

-Intelligence

-Anger

-ATLAS

-P-body

-Oracle Turret

-Companion Cube! ^^

-Caroline

-Cave

PEOPLE WHO DID NOT APPEAR IN GAMES… OR IN ANY GAME

-FeeptheNinja

-Rishi

-William

-Arya

-A.J.

-Gamerteen13

OC's

-Ash the ASHPoD Mankey

"This will be updated next time." Said Feep. "And until then, feel free to send in OC's using the form in the 7th chapter in _Portalmon_.And truths or dares!"

All was silent. Then:

"Why is the Companion Cube here anyway? He/she/it/thing can't do much of anything…"

Chell's grip on the beaten, charred cube tightened and she glared at Arya, who asked the question.

"So she wouldn't kill us. Simple."

…

"I'm bored. I don't like being bored."

"How about we play Spin the Bottle in our spare time?"

"HELL NO!"

"What if we use Wheatley for the bottle?"

"… Fine. But if you land on me, Feep, I WILL kill you after this game is over."

"Heh, heh… don't threaten me, GLaDOS. I have authoress powers! And glitch elemental powers…"

"I hate you."

"Thanks. Hey, this needs music!*Matryoshka begins playing*Better. Hope you like my playlist. Arceus knows you probably won't."

"Hey! I did not sing that song!"

"Heh… The Device has Been Modified FTW!"

"Why is the recorder still on?"

"Oh. Shoot, I'll get that… Oh, funny! Cave, Caroline, you-" *static*

**A/N: PLEASE SEND IN TRUTHS OR DARES! Oh, and OC's. The author/authoress who sends in a used OC gets to be in this, so HURRY UP! **

**Just in case you want to torture me/ make me love you, here are the shippings I support.**

**-Cavelin [CavexCaroline]**

**-ChellDOS [mother/daughter, friends]**

**-SPACOSITY! [SpacexCuriosity]**

**Here's what I spit on and throw in a sewer.**

**-WheatDOS [why was this made?]**

**-Chelley [I like it a BIT, but it's just not… my thing.]**

**-ChellDOS I love you let's ****. It's just wrong on so many levels. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, hello again!" Feep turned and waved. "During the night, a few more people reviewed, so I think we got enough truths and dares for this chapter. Don't forget, my friends and I can also be dared! So… let's let the tortures begin!" Feep grinned. "But first… UPDATED CHARACTER LIST!"

ALL PLAYING

FROM GAMES:

-Chell

-GLaDOS

-Wheatley

-Rick

-Fact

-SPPAACCEE!^^

-Curiosity

-Morality

-Intelligence

-Anger

-ATLAS

-P-body

-Oracle Turret

-Companion Cube! ^^

-Caroline

-Cave

PEOPLE WHO DID NOT APPEAR IN GAMES… OR IN ANY GAME

-FeeptheNinja

-Rishi

-William

-Arya

-A.J.

-Gamerteen13

-GreenVirus

OC's

-Ash the ASHPoD Mankey

-The Gentleman Cube

"Alright, first set of dares and truths is from… ReshiZek1636. Here's what he's got:

GLaDOS: Using an ASHPoD, let Chell send you on a platform sliding into a fire pit, and try to escape.

Wheatley: Get stuck in the Aperture Science Intelligence Emergency Incinerator (Or just the Incinerator... IDK its proper name)

Space and Curiosity: You two are my favorites. So Space, you get a space shuttle simulator, and Curiosity gets to ask anyone any question you like. They can't get annoyed. If they get annoyed, throw them into a fire pit.

Angry: CALM DOWN!

Companion Cube: You get cake. Not just ANY cake. GLaDOS's cake.

Rick/Adventure: Give up adventure and pretty girls. We all know you'll never get either.

Fact: Insult yourself the entire time.

Intelligence: Talk about something OTHER than cake.

Truth:

Morality: You're a lot like Chell. You don't talk in the game. Why?

Caroline: Did you ever get your $60?

Well. That's all I got.

"Wow. Okay, first up, GLaDOS. Remember when that platform was sliding into the fire pit and we were like 'goodbye' and you were like 'NO WAY!'?"

"Uh, no. That was me saying that to Chell… oh… wait… shit."

Feep laughed evilly. "Heh, we got GLaDOS to swear! In the first 3 minutes! Rishi, Arya, you both owe me 5 bucks!"

As the mentioned parties dug around in their pockets for the money, Feep started to hook up some cables and wires.

"WHAT THE- GET OFF OF ME!" GLaDOS was less than happy with this arrangement. Feep sighed as she whacked the large computer for the 18th time.

"Hold still. You need to be in android form to do this one. Rishi, will you initiate the rest? GODDAMNIT, HOLD STILL BEFORE I GET OUT MY EMP!"

Rishi picked up the paper. "Erm, right. Let's see… Oh, Co-FEEP's going to love this one. Oh, Wheatley?"

Wheatley looked up from the ground. "Wot? Me? Oh, no.."

"Spend the rest of the day in the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator." He paused a moment. "Hey, GLaDOS, is there such thing as an Emergency Idiocy Incinerator?"

"She can't talk right now, sorry! Thank god for concentrated EMPs…" Feep muttered as she went about attaching the cables.

"Alright, then! Arya?" He grabbed Wheatley and dragged him to the ASEII.

"Great." Feep came back over. "Alright, GLaDOS, get over there. Chell, go get Her on that platform."

"Hey! Let go of me! Assault! Assault and battery! HELP!" As Chell dragged GLaDOS to the room, Feep grabbed up the paper out of Rishi's hands and read off the next one.

"Huh. Lots of people love Space and Curiosity… Space! Have a room full of space! [simulated, of course…]" Feep conjured up a planetarium out of nowhere. "Oh, I love authoress powers… and Curiosity! Ask anyone any question you like! And they can't get annoyed or refuse, otherwise they get THE FIRE PIT."

Curiosity rolled over to Gentleman Cube. "Who are you?"

"I am the Gentleman Cube. I will threaten to stab you, and in fact, can speak." He pulled out a flamethrower from his… black hole thingy. "Now go away."

"Next is for Anger." Of course, Anger growled. "Anger: Calm down." There was a long silence.

"Feep, is that even possible?" asked William.

"No, I don't think it is… still, he's only glaring at me, so I'm guessing it's as calm as he gets. NEXT!"

"Lessee… Companion Cube: You get cake. Not just any cake, either. GLaDOS's cake. Huh." Feep heard an 'OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODHELP!' from the other room, and in sped android!GLaDOS, looking scared as all get out. "

"Oh GOD HELP ME SHE'S GONNA KILL ME I AM GOING TO DIE -" Android!GLaDOS was hyperventilating.

Feep groaned. "CHELL! WE SAID ONLY THE FIRE PIT PART, NOT THE TRYING TO KILL HER THE WHOLE TIME PART! Aw, shit. We need Her to be relatively calm to transfer Her back, and right now She's literally shaking. Urg. Chell, get over here and APOLOGIZE!" Feep ran out into the hall and dragged- no, literally dragged- Chell back over.

Feep sighed. "Rick: Give up adventure and pretty girls. We all know you'll never get either. Well, that's a bit harsh…"

"A BIT? I'M RICK, THE ADVENTURE SPHERE! I HAVE TO ADVENTURE!"

"Geez, we know! You don't have to do that one, alright? Anyway, next up is Fact: Insult yourself with your facts."

"Fact: The Fact Core hates this game, and wishes that the authoress would die."

"Aw, stuff it. Do it or you get… THE CHICKEN."

"What?" everyone in the room simultaneously asked.

Feep held up a rubber chicken. "If you refuse a dare, someone gets to repeatedly slap you with a rubber chicken! So, Fact, insults or slapped with a chicken?"

Fact rolled his eye. "Fact: Bob is the worst name in existence. The Fact Core's real name is Bob."

"Thank you. Now, Intelligence: Talk about something other than cake."

"…" Intelligence didn't make a sound.

"Well, I guess that counts… right?"

"1/2 pound birdseed, ½ cup lard, …"

"Oh, hey! That's that recipe for those upside-down-bird-feeder-cups! Oh, wait… Intelligence, please stop, before you give android!GLaDOS a heart attack."

"…"

"Thank you. Now for a couple truths! Morality, you're a lot like Chell. You never talk. Why?"

"Well," Morality began, eliciting a gasp from everybody in the room. "I saw no reason to talk. It wasn't like anyone would listen anyway… AHEM." She gave a pointed look at android!GLaDOS, who was (sadly) still whimpering in the corner with Caroline next to Her, attempting to calm Her down.

"Um." Feep stared for about 2 seconds, then quickly asked "Caroline, did you ever get your 60 bucks?" Caroline looked up for around 1.382 seconds, then answered.

"I was never offered any. I was Cave Johnson's assistant, not a test subject."

"Ah. Alright… next list!

-Chell: Admit that you are fat. Very fat.

-GLaDOS: Bake cake for Chell. Use Intelligence's recipe.

-Wheatley: Go to a calculus class. AND STAY THERE.

-Rick: Wear an Indiana Jones hat.

-Fact: Eat 75 hotdogs and die of hotdog poisoning. SOMEHOW.

-Space: You're cool. You get a giant holographic planetarium and a ticket to the sci-fi movie of your choice. Oh, and a free hug! OwO

-Curiosity: Go to that sci-fi movie with Space.

-Morality: Act like GLaDOS. Be homicidal.

-Intelligence: What's your recipe for a Baked Alaska cake? (google it, it's fuckin' delicious)

-Anger: Play Milon's Secret Castle. You get the game and the NES. (google that too.)

-ATLAS: You're cool. Nothing for you though.

-P-body: Same here.

-Oracle Turret: You get a book of Greek myths!

-Companion Cube: Threaten to stab Chell. Also, speak.

-Caroline: Are you Chell's mom?

-Cave: Eat a lemon. If you do, you get the Borealis back.

"Hm. Alright, Chell, admit that you're fat. Without talking…?"

Rolling her eyes, Chell stood up and put her arms out in front of her stomach. Thus, it was technically admitting she's fat. Moving on.

"I would use this GLaDOS dare, but I think She's out of it for now… man, we might need a psychiatrist soon if this keeps up. Poor kid won't even move. Arya, go slap Chell for doing that to Her. Now, someone get Wheatley out of the incinerator. He's got a dare."

When Wheatley was rescued [took about an hour] from the ASEII, Feep grinned and said "Go to a calculus class… and stay there. No falling asleep, no nothing. Stay attentive the WHOLE TIME!" And he was shipped off. "Now, Rick, wear an Indiana Jones hat!"

"Really? That ain't much of a dare… but okay!" Then he pulled out a hat from god-knows-where and put it on his head with non-existent hands. Cool.

"Fact, eat 75 hot dogs and die of hot dog poisoning. Somehow." In response to this, a random plate containing 75 hot dogs dropped from the ceiling and Fact began to eat them. With no mouth. WTF?

"It's probably the same way Waddle Dee eats if he has no mouth." Rishi said wisely, and then everyone came to the conclusion that this place was frikkin crazy. After he finished the hot dogs [and keeled over], everyone looked over at Feep when 'Break Your Heart' started to play from the speakers.

"What? This place needed some music. Anyway, Space gets another planetarium and two tickets to the sci-fi movie of his choice. Curiosity gets to go with him."

"Hey! They haven't gotten any real dares yet? Unfair!"

"Can it. They're awesome. Next, Morality: Act like GLaDOS. Be homicidal."

"Hey…" Android!GLaDOS looked out. "I resent that…"

"No. Slap me with a chicken, but I WILL. NOT. ACT LIKE HER." Morality said stubbornly.

"Hey!"

"Girls! Fight later! A.J., go chicken Morality. Now, Intelligence, What's your recipe for Baked Alaska?"

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SHOWN HERE BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE IT OUT. SORRY. ~FEEPTHENINJA

"Thanks! Anger, play Milon's Secret Castle. Oh god, that looks so hard… WHAT? THIS GAME IS SCREWED UP! Well, Anger, here…"

After the console was beaten into a fine dust after Anger lost the first dozen times, Feep torched it and went on to the next dare. "ATLAS, P-body, you're cool. Nothing for you, though. How sad. Ora, here's a book of Greek Myths!" Ora started reading and ATLAS and P-body went back to playing Rock-Paper-Scissors. "My mom says she heard someone say that should be Rock-Scissors-Dynamite with a Cuttable Wick… but I digress. Companion Cube: Threaten to stab Chell. Also, speak."

"I can speak," Said the CC in a soft voice, barely a whisper, "But I will not threaten to harm Chell."

"…Fine. I can't touch that. Besides, you're cute. And I'd be killed if I tried to chicken you, so. Caroline: Are you Chell's mom?"

"Technically. I am her birth mother, but seeing as I am now usually in GLaDOS, then She took over the duty. So… now GLaDOS is Chell's mom."

A dead silence filled the room.

"W-what?" Android!GLaDOS was staring at Caroline like she had grown tentacles spontaneously. Chell's jaw hit the ground.

"Yep." And Caroline was silent.

"OMFG. That was… was… scary, in every sense of the word… back to dares!" Everyone stared at Feep.

"Are you bipolar?" Asked Rishi. Feep glared at him and tried to tackle him. Needless to say, it didn't work.

"Goddamnit, stay still so I can kill you!" Feep yelled. "William, take over dare announcement and give me a baseball bat and that black starry Pokéball! Alright, Miss. le., we've got some glitching to do!" Everyone's mind was off dares as they all watched the spectacle of Feep trying to smack Rishi with the baseball bat and trying to get him with Miss. le.'s Super Glitch move at the same time.

"Bets, anyone?" called out Arya, and for the first time, no one did something painful to him when he spoke.

"Sure." Said Android!GLaDOS, apparently healed from her ordeal earlier. "$50 on Rishi!"

Soon enough, after everyone was done betting, A.J. started selling popcorn. And hot dogs. And soda. Basically, she started running a concession stand. ATLAS and P-body had a camcorder out.

Three hours later, Feep collapsed flat on her face. Rishi didn't look like he even broke a sweat. Several members of the audience cheered.

Feep mumbled from her position on the floor: "Cave, if you eat a lemon, you get the Borealis back…"

"Really? Sweet!"

…

"Um, should someone go get her?"

"Nah, I don't really feel like dealing with her right now."

"Now what?"

"Anyone know how to play BS?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I do!"

"Cool. Play for money?"

"Hell yeah! Deal me in!"

…

"The camera's still on, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, lemme get tha-"

*static*

**A/N: To those whose dares and/or truths I did not use, they WILL be in the next chapter! Sorry for not using them right away! ^^;**

**Miss. le. is my epic Missingno.. He is cute and awesome and deadly. Do not mess with him. HE KNOWS SUPER GLITCH AND IS NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!**


	3. Chapter 3

Feep is sitting in front of a computer screen, fairly hyperventilating. Rishi was behind her, facepalming. William and A.J. [of course] were reading what Feep was reading, with William pointing out what exactly could not happen in whatever she was reading due to sheer improbability and programming difficulties, and A.J. was laughing from time to time.

"Sorry guys, Feep is reading F Yeah! Pokémon Creepypasta, and is a _little _freaked out… Unlike William, the amazing programming glitch boy who knows exactly WHY this could not happen, and A.J., who has seen so much it doesn't really bother her anymore. So-" Rishi was cut off by the sound of running footsteps and a scream.

"Oh, no, she reverted, didn't she…" Both at the computer nodded. "Aw, nuts. I'll go get her, you erase any mention of the site from her computer and perma-block that site, got it?"

"Sir, yes sir." They rolled their eyes and got to work, and one could hear William muttering: "That sound file type isn't even PLAYABLE by GBC's!"

Rishi entered the room Corah was currently in. "Corah? You okay?" Corah decidedly did _not_ look okay and more like she had witnessed someone being run over by a truck. She shuddered.

"Rishi, Rishi PLEASE remind me never to look at that goddamned website again… I think I'm gonna throw up… Wait, where's the bathroom?" She sat up, looking confused as all get out. "Wait, this isn't my house. OH GOD, THIS ISN'T MY HOUSE! RISHI, WHERE IN THE NAME OF GLaDOS ARE WE?"

Rishi facepalmed again, muttering something under his breath. "You were writing a ToD fic. You were in alter-ego form. You made this room full of every Portal character. Explained?"

Corah's eyes grew wide. "Every single one?"

Rishi didn't like where this was going, but he tentatively answered "Yes… Oh, no, WAIT- too late." He groaned as she shot out of the room, Creepypasta forgotten, yelling 'HOLY ANDROID HELL THAT MEANS SHE'S HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YESSSSS'

Rishi, Arya, William and A.J. all entered the room to find everyone in it staring at GLaDOS, comically disturbed. Well, not at GLaDOS Herself, but at the 13-year-old girl currently on top of Her, locking Her in a death grip.

Rishi managed to interject over Corah's meaningless gibberish bout how epic this was. "CORAH! OFF! NOW!"

She looked up, obviously upset. "No!" she yelled back, then went back to holding on to Her as hard as humanly possible.

"Listen to the smart one, girl. You're practically _begging_ to be declassified as a living human." When Corah still didn't listen, She resorted to yelling:

"GET OFF OF ME NOW OR YOU DIE!" That startled her so much she actually fell off of Her.

"Ow! You could have asked, you know!" Corah turned away in a huff.

Rishi called Corah much like one would call a dog. "Corah, Get over here!" To William, he whispered frantically "Any idea how to make her revert to Feep again?"

William paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Nope. Then again, I do know how to get us to go Ultra, and we could probably _restrain_ her, at least, for a while." Rishi turned pale.

"Oh, god, restrain? You don't mean she'd go X on us?" William nodded.

"It'd be natural." By this time, all characters in the room were looking confusedly at the kids, moreso than the strange spectacle of Corah talking to the Companion Cube.

"You know somethin'? I think that kid-" Wheatley [he got back from Calculus alive, somehow] nodded at Corah, now obviously enthralled by a story of some sort by the Cube. "Has more brain damage than I thought Chell had. Really." Everyone agreed.

"X? Ultra? I don't follow…" said Oracle Turret.

Rishi looked at Ora. "We all have different forms we can take. Ultra is like Feep- a form that represents what we tell others we are… And X is- well, an animal form. And trust me, her form is almost scary. But in being almost scary, it is impossibly adorable. So. There's also one more we can take, but I doubt you'd want to see it. It's called Golden, and when we do THAT, people are going to get hurt. So don't do anything to initiate it. That being said- ULTRA!"

Rishi flipped in mid-air and transformed into a ninja looking boy wearing a red ninja suit, and had long dragon wings resembling a shiny Charizard's growing out of his back. He had typical ninja stuff… but also a plasma rifle [is this right?] and a cucumber taser. Please, don't ask.

William looked to be wearing a shirt/pants/shoes combo that made him look strikingly similar to a Pikachu, and had an electric sword and [what else?] an ASHPoD.

Arya was a sky-blue Kirby with a Pokémon t-shirt.

A.J.'s was… basically a vampiric ninja panda t-shirt, jeans, and a giant, rainbow, aggressive, sentient, winged, exploding, COW. That fought for her. [To all who get what I'm referencing, kudos!]

Upon seeing them, Corah looked like she had been shot. In a panic, she went X.

"Oh, ^#*!" yelled Rishi, and Corah, newly transformed, shied away and hid behind Chell.

If you haven't seen Moemon yet, Google it. Picture Pokémon merged with little girls. I guarantee you will die of cuteness overload. As it was, she had transformed into one of the cutest-a Dratini.

Rishi groaned. "Why do we even bother? WHY?" He turned regular, and picked up Corah. Muttering an incantation, Corah immediately turned normal too.

"WTF happened? Oh." She turned Feep again, exclaiming "We wasted a good half the chapter screwing around with transformations, didn't we? Shit. Anyway, to dares!"

Everyone was decidedly confused by this series of events- except Companion Cube, cause she's just that dang epic. And then the list came down, stopping all further introspect.

From Xelac:

Get a pair of big, pink, fluffy bunny ears and make GLaDOS wear them for the rest of the fanfiction. As for Chell... You get a crowbar. ;)

Chell gave a silent "woohoo!" and grabbed up the crowbar with earnest. As for GLaDOS…

"I hate using text language, but this calls for an 'OMG WTF?' Kill me with the chicken. I don't care. Throw me into a GODDAMNED FIRE PIT, just don't make me do that dare!"

"Sheesh, fine. No need to get all huffy. On that note, Rishi, chicken. Now. Next list…"

From katzsoa

Dares:

Space: For exactly one hour, you shall say nothing that has to do with space. Either talk about something that has nothing to do with space in any way, or don't talk at all; just don't talk about space.

GLaDOS: Call Feep "Corah".

Feep: Respond calmly to "Corah" without complaint when GLaDOS says it.

Truths:

Anger: What are you so angry about?

ATLAS and P-body: What's it like to be reassembled?

The Rubber Chicken: What's your name?

Space was confused. "Can't talk about space?"

"Nope. So can it or be chicken'ed." Feep smirked- there was NO WAY Space could avoid it. It was in his programming! He was SUR-

"Gardens!" Space said. His voice had a smug tone.

"WTF?" That, by the way, was basically everyone in the room, spoken or not.

"Ummm… does this mean we need to call him the Gardening Core now?" asked Wheatley.

"Fact: This is awkward."

"Um. Well. Okay then… shoot. Double-dare. GlaDOS…"

"What is it-" She flinched very slightly. "…Corah?"

"I. AM. NOT.- wait, dare, don't kill GLaDOS, don't kill GLaDOS, you'll get- SCREW IT! KILL ME WITH THE DAMN CHICKEN! BECAUSE I. AM. **NOT. **_**CORAH!**_" she screamed, glitch fire engulfing her body, then gathering around her fists.

"OH. SHIT."

"FEEP! DO NOT KILL GLaDOS! GET OVER HERE! HOLY &#%, DON'T DO THAT-"

Everyone watched with varying levels of amusement as Rishi [now Ultra form] tried to keep Feep from murdering Her, and GLaDOS tried to dodge attacks. It was really quite something to see.

Two hours later, Feep was sedated and duct-taped to the wall, and Rishi had taken over as announcer. "Well, after that little spectacle, I think we're ready to return to some level of normality. Right?" After a pause, he wondered aloud "Why did GLaDOS have sedative on hand, anyway? Oh, right, to the truths."

"Anger, what are you so angry about?"

Anger paused to consider this, then spoke.

"!"

"I… I'm going to take that as lack of communication abilities… next… uh."

"ATLAS and P-body: What's it like to be reassembled?"

Because their 'speech' consists of clicks, whirrs, and the like, we built a translator. Don't ask.

"Well… picture having your body blown apart…"

"Then having your mind preserved…"

"And put into a new body, but it's not whole…"

"And having to wait as it's sewn back together."

"Piece by tiny piece."

"It doesn't feel good."

By now, everyone was feeling a tiny bit sick, even the AIs. "Um- moving on… wait. What?" Rishi looked genuinely puzzled. "This is for… The Rubber Chicken?" Now everyone was confused.

"The Rubber Chicken: What's your name?"

All of a sudden, the rubber chicken did a flip and landed on his feet in a ninja-pose. "My name is-" He did more ninja moves. "FRED!" He then fell back on the ground like he was before, floppy and decidedly not-alive-and-doing-ninja.

Rishi blinked. "Did- did everyone else see that?"

"Yes…"

"If we all did… is there something in the air, or are we all high for no good reason?"

"I'm a machine. So is about 75% of this room's population. How could we possibly be high?"

"Good point…"

Some dares for the non-game characters:

- For at least one chapter, hit each other with the rubber chicken when someone refuses a dare. Fighting each other using the chicken is encouraged.

- Find a way to bring in (and dare) the Announcer and some defective turrets.

Dares for those who did appear in games:

- Wheatley: For at least one chapter, don't speak at all. Not even when being dared or when GLaDOS insults you.

- Intelligence: Say something that isn't a recipe of any kind.

- Oracle: Foreshadow something in this story.

- ATLAS and P-body: Spread Repulsion Gel onto part of the Central AI Chamber (not all of it, or you'll cause problems for the human characters) and then play in that area. Everyone else gets to watch. GLaDOS does not get to insult you or tell you to stop in any way (including glaring, trying to disassemble you, etc.).

"Well,-" Rishi tried to start, but was interrupted by Feep's rather loud groan.

"Wha' the Android 'ell happened…? And why am I duct-taped to the wall? Hey, wait! Get this off of me! I don't wanna be stuck on a wall! HELP!" She started panicking, and Rishi quickly slashed the silver bounds. As she fell off of the wall, she noticed she couldn't stand up. "Agh, my _head_… what the fire truck was in that…? GLaDOS? I am expecting an answer, or else. OW! OH GOD!"

Rishi looked at GLaDOS. "GLaDOS…?"

GLaDOS guiltily looked away for a moment. "Look, I never had to use it before! I honestly have no idea what's in it!"

Feep groaned. "Oww…"

Rishi sighed. "Well, looks like we're ending the chapter here. Sorry [anonymous], we'll get to your dares in a bit. Now, GLaDOS, you'd better start looking up those ingredients."

"Fine…"

Feep whimpered. "Hurry… up!"

"I'm GOING!"


	4. Chapter 4

Rishi looked over at the camera. "Umm… Hi guys! Feep's computer broke down- actually, was cruelly murdered by GLaDOS, so that's why she hasn't been able to update. She's doing this on her mom's computer for now, so… yeah."

A quiet voice came from the corner. "Hey! I'm not Feep!"

Rishi snapped his fingers. "Oh, right! Turns out, GLaDOS couldn't find what was in that sedative, so Feep had to revert to Corah for the time being. Currently she is in the corner, chained to the Companion Cube."

Corah shifted uncomfortably. "Why'd you chain me here? And Chell is glaring at me!" she whined. Indeed, Chell was glaring daggers at her, and Corah grabbed onto the Cube for dear life. "Don't kill me…"

Rishi looked over at her. "You're chained because you'd go glomp GLaDOS the first chance you got, and because… well, you're hard to look after. Anyway. TO DARES! And Chell… HEY! THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT CROWBAR IS TO BE USED FOR!"

The Black Kitsune Kit:

Hmmm... I GOT IT!

Dares:

GLaDOS: When you speak, use Military terms as much as possible. (eg. FUBAR SNAFU TARFU... Wiki it, you'll get a HUGE list of terms.)

Curiosity: DON'T ASK ANYONE ANYTHING FOR THE WHOLE CHAPTER. Everyone can ask you anything and you MUST ANSWER THEM.

Gentleman Cube: -cackles evilly- You... MUST DRESS IN A WHITE CAPE AND HAT as well as STEAL ONE THING FROM ANY FIVE PEOPLE YOU WANT! And then give the items back by the end of the chapter. (Don't get the joke? Goggle "Kaitou Kid".)

Also, I want to give GLaDOS a button that will put both Chell and Wheatley through ten times as much pain that YOU go through if you tell someone how to get through a test when you press it... And said button can NOT be broken OR taken from GLaDOS (for two chapters) OR used by ANYONE else... Hey, what can I say? I LOOOVE her.

And for the Truth:

GLaDOS: About how many times do you think you will press the button in this one chapter?

"Well." said Rishi. "Umm… alright, GLaDOS, speak in military terms… but we already looked up the article, and couldn't find much…"

Arya interjected loudly. "READ: WE ARE LAZY."

Rishi glared at Arya. "Hey!" And they got into a Calvin and Hobbes styled fight.

Meanwhile, Corah had used authoress powers to unlock her handcuffs. Or a bobby pin and screwdriver. Your choice. She ran up to Chell and dropped the Companion Cube in her lap.

"H-here! I don't want it!" she said, then ran off, leaving Chell extremely confused. Corah then grabbed up the list of dares.

"Ha! Now I get to read them!" she said smugly.

"Curiosity: DON'T ASK ANYONE ANYTHING FOR THE WHOLE CHAPTER. Everyone can ask you anything and you MUST ANSWER THEM."

"Wh-" Curiosity caught herself just in time. "I mean, uh…"

Corah started laughing. "Ha! At a loss for words?" she grinned. "Anyway."

"Gentleman Cube: -cackles evilly- You... MUST DRESS IN A WHITE CAPE AND HAT as well as STEAL ONE THING FROM ANY FIVE PEOPLE YOU WANT! And then give the items back by the end of the chapter. (Don't get the joke? Google "Kaitou Kid".)"

"Yess!" The Gentleman Cube then disappeared.

"Um… I guess he's gonna go steal something?" Corah said nervously. "Mmn… GLaDOS! Have this awesome button!"

GLaDOS looked suspicious. "What does it do?"

Corah read over her notes again. "It puts Chell and Wheatley through ten times as much pain as when one tells the testee how to finish a test!" she said cheerfully. "And no one can break it or steal it for two chapters!"

GLaDOS's optic lit up. "Really?" She wasted no time in transferring herself to android form and grabbing it. "Thanks, whoever gave this to me!"

Corah laughed. "It was The Black Kitsune Kit! And speaking of, the one truth is: How many times do you think you'll press that in one chapter?"

She grinned evilly and hit it. "Oh, I dunno…" she said innocently as Chell and Wheatley writhed in pain on the floor.

"NEXT LIST!"

DreamWriter101:

Okay, very interesting. Here's some of my dares/truths:

Truth:

GLaDOS: was it really Caroline that saved Chell, Or was it you?

Companion Cube: how did you feel when Chell burned you? Did her betrayal hurt your feelings toward her?

Oracle: what's it like to be different?

Dare:

Fact: act like Curiosity; don't give facts, ask questions.

Corah turned to Android!GLaDOS. "Well?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Um. A… little of both… but mostly Caroline!" She defended. As if to make her point, she pressed the button again.

Corah stifled another laugh, and read the next question.

"Companion Cube: how did you feel when Chell burned you? Did her betrayal hurt your feelings toward her?"

The Companion Cube, if possible, seemed to sit up a little straighter. "No, no it did not. I understood that She made Chell do it, and that she didn't want to. I was glad she incinerated me instead of sitting there for days until finally dying. And I knew she would come back and rescue me!" she finished.

Everyone was speechless.

"Wow…" breathed Corah. "I-I guess that answers the question…"

"Oracle: What's it like to be different?"

"Well," began Ora, "It certainly is… different. Not to mention deadly, and having a certain SOMEONE trying to INCINERATE me all my life!" she spat, doing the turret equivalent of a glare towards Android!GLaDOS, who _actually_ glared back.

"Um." Corah said. "Okay… could you two go try to disembowel each other somewhere else, please…? Please? Thank you."

"Fact: act like Curiosity; don't give facts, ask questions."

"What? Why?" asked Fact.

Corah grinned. "You're starting already?"

Curiosity glared at Fact. "Fact: You suck." she sulked.

"What was that for?" shot back Fact.

Corah snickered. "Awesome!"

AnimeGirl1220:

AWESOMENESS! May I submit an OC?

Name: Saige

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Appearance: Has waist-length black hair w/ purple, orange, and red highlights in it. Her left eye is green while her right is grey. She's extremely pale. As in, she could blend in with snow. She's about 5"2, and weighs 110 lbs. She wears a thin fuzzy black hoodie jacket over an orange tank-top, a red plaid skirt over black skinny jeans, a lopsided black and white checkered belt, navy knee-socks, and black and silver sneakers. She also wears a red and black baseball cap with a silver rimmed bill backwards, a pair of non-dangly skull earrings, a matching necklace, and silver bangles on her right wrist, with bronze ones on her left. Yeah, I know. A lot of stuffs :3

Personality: She's pretty cold most of the time, and laughs at people's pain. She's the kind of person that thinks that GLaDOS's torture methods are child's play, and could be taken a step (or 30 -_-) further. But, other than that, she's a pretty cool person. Oh, and, she hates preps.

Other Things I Should Probably Know: She's telekinetic (can move things with her mind), and she loves violence. She laughs when she sees someone get brutally murdered, and cheers for the killers/psychopaths in movies/books/animes/mangas/games/TV shows. She's overly obsessed with Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Ghostface, and Jigsaw (the guy, not just the movies). Yeah, she's pretty messed up. Oh, but, she loves animals. If you hurt one around her, she will kill you. Literally. Well, so, that's about it.

Yup, there she is! Would you believe that I just made her up on the spot? XD I hope you can find some use for her, and I'm sorry it took me so long to finally find this |P I fail. OH, but, I have some truths and dares!

~Dares~

Chell: Pick up a turret (with it facing you), and give it a big hug. It has to be a working one, NOT a defective one *evil grin*

Cave: Kiss Caroline. NAO! :3

Space and Curiosity: Cuddle! :3

~Truths~

Wheatley: How much do you regret the time you went... bonkers?

GLaDOS: Were you REALLY able to delete Caroline from your system, at the end of Portal 2, or were you just 'enhancing the truth' again?

Chell: Are you REALLY mute, or are you just stubborn?

Mmkay, that's it! Imma go read the other chapters now! :3

"Cool! Someone new!" Corah said happily. "Hai!" She then launched herself at Saige and hugged her.

"Corah! Stop acting like Jake!" Rishi scolded as he pulled himself away from Arya and grabbed Corah by her shirt to drag her off. "Sorry." he said to Saige. "She likes to hug people. A lot. Speaking of, how did you get out?" he asked Corah, who was trying to remove her shirt from his grip.

"A bobby pi- I mean, my authoress powers?" she said. "Can I read the dares now?"

Rishi groaned. "Fine, as long as you don't go try to get yourself killed. Again."

Corah grabbed the list again and started reading.

"Chell: Pick up a turret (with it facing you), and give it a big hug. It has to be a working one, NOT a defective one *evil grin*"

Corah looked over at Chell expectantly. 'Well…?"

Chell grimaced, then quickly grabbed a turret, and held its guns to its side so it couldn't shoot her while she hugged it. Smart.

"Okay… good thinking! Next!"

"Cave: Kiss Caroline. NAO! :3"

"That's a _dare_?" asked Rishi incredulously. "That's like asking Corah and William to hug. They'll do it regardless, whether or not you ask them."

"That may only be because she ships Cavelin, you know." said Arya. Everyone else just watched.

"Um, was it a requirement that it be for almost 3 minutes?" questioned Fact, followed almost immediately by Curiosity stating "Fact: No, but no one cares."

"Next!"

"Space and Curiosity: Cuddle! :3"

"Yay! Spaceosity!" cheered Corah. "But first…" There was a flash of light, and then everyone in the room was human. Except Companion Cube, for reasons none shall ever know of.

"Okay!" said Corah. "Now HUG!" And Space and Curiosity fairly tackled each other.

"Yay!" Yelled Corah, who then glomped GLaDOS. (She's human now too. And I won't be putting Human!GLaDOS, either, so just assume She's human. ~FeeptheNinja)

"Hey!" she yelled. "Get off me!" However Corah would not let go.

Android!GLaDOS growled something unintelligible under her breath about neurotoxin, then begrudgingly relented and let her snuggle up on Her back.

"Wow." said Rishi, amazed. "Is She really letting her-" Then he noticed GLaDOS rapidly mashing the button. "Ah…"

"Hey, Wheatley, how much do you regret that time you went… bonkers?"

Wheatley started to go into one of his pre-prepared speeches, however he was silenced with a death glare by almost everyone in the room.

"Why don't you just shut up for once?" said Fact.

"Fact: That would probably be in your best interest." said Curiosity.

Fact and Curiosity high-fived. Corah laughed. "Heh. You might want to take that advice…"

Wheatley looked crest-fallen. He muttered "A lot…" then fell silent.

"GLaDOS: Were you REALLY able to delete Caroline from your system, at the end of Portal 2, or were you just 'enhancing the truth' again?"

"Well, seeing as she's standing here right now, what do you think?" She said dryly.

"Chell: Are you REALLY mute, or are you just stubborn?"

Chell sighed quietly. "Stubborn. I'm guessing staying quiet now will be impossible, so…" She rolled her eyes.

"Well… that looks like all the time we have for now, so… see you later!" said Corah cheerfully, and hugged GLaDOS harder.

She gritted her teeth and groaned. "How much longer until she can be Feep again?"

**A/N: Yay! I'm not dead! :D However, my computer is… IT WAS TOO YOUNG! D: Anyway. I will update ASAP, I PROMISE! I WILL NOT LET MY FICS DIE!**

***gasps* HAI ARYA! 8DDD YOU REVIEWED! I IS HAPPY NOW! ^^**

**I know you can only say Poyo in Kirby form. That's practically all you say regularly, too... -.-;  
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	5. Chapter 5

"Hello again, guys!" Rishi waved amiably. "So, uh, we know it's been a while, but… just don't kill us, alright?"

"Please?" added Feep. "Oh, that's right. Two things- Whatever the hell was in that sedative wore off, so I can be Feep again; and two, it turns out we have a _buttload _of backed- up truths and/or dares. And also seeing as this is currently going on where my laptop has no internet, we'll be doing those for this chapter too!"

"Soooo…" Rishi said, "Let's get started, shall we?"

Okay, I dare Chell to have P-Body or ATLAS set up a infinite loop for her, and then after fifteen seconds of falling, fire a portal at a slanted panel...Outside, of course, preferably at a beach.

I dare Wheatley to drive a Relaxation Chamber to Test Chamber 00...WITHOUT hitting anything.

And finally, I dare you(Feep) to make an infinite portal loop, throw Space in, and then fire a portal at a flat-on-the-ground panel(Again, outside), see if you can make him get into space that way!

"Hmmm…" Feep looked over the dares. "Well, this list has… Waitaminute." Her face lit up. "OMFG! This dare has to happen at the beach! Therefore we all have an excuse to go to the beach!" And believe it or not, almost everyone was excited at this news. Probably because it would allow them to get out of the room for a while.

"Hey, Rishi." Feep whispered. "We… DO have the Hackermon's Bus/Limo/Minivan? …Right?"

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What _is _the Hackermon's Bus/Limo/Minivan, you ask?

Two words: PURE. AWESOME.

Lessee here… Well, it has three of every game console AND game ever made [yes, even Atari. EVERY.], a giant center room that doubles as an antigravity room, at the back is a giant walk-in fridge that has every single food on Earth [and maybe some from Pluto- we haven't checked yet], at the front there were some computers for- well, they _are _the Hackermons- and some ninjas.

"Wait, what?" Rishi gave Feep a puzzled look. "Where the heck did the ninjas come from?"

"Cousins." Feep dismissed him. "Anyway- the 'Mon's are lending us this large vehicle for about three days, GLaDOS knows why, knowing our explosive tendencies-" At the word 'explosive' a random Creeper popped up out of nowhere and began to hiss.

"Dammit! Not you, Jeffrey! Get outta here! Shoo!" Feep tossed him out of the vehicle.

"'Jeffrey'?" Rishi said, visibly amused.

"Shut up. It was all I could think of at the time." Feep grumbled. "Anyway, it'll take us about three hours to actually _get to _the beach- damn me living so far away- so get comfortable guys. Also I may once or twice drag someone away to do a dare. So."

"And speaking of dares- here's our bus list! Or at least part of it…"

Some dares for the non-game characters:

- For at least one chapter, hit each other with the rubber chicken when someone refuses a dare. Fighting each other using the chicken is encouraged.

- Find a way to bring in (and dare) the Announcer and some defective turrets.

Dares for those who did appear in games:

- Wheatley: For at least one chapter, don't speak at all. Not even when being dared or when GLaDOS insults you.

- Intelligence: Say something that isn't a recipe of any kind.

- Oracle: Foreshadow something in this story.

- ATLAS and P-body: Spread Repulsion Gel onto part of the Central AI Chamber (not all of it, or you'll cause problems for the human characters) and then play in that area. Everyone else gets to watch. GLaDOS does not get to insult you or tell you to stop in any way (including glaring, trying to disassemble you, etc.).

"The Announcer, you say?" exclaimed Feep. "Yesss! I wanted clearance for that for a while! Introducing- THE ANNOUNCER!"

And now I get to describe how I think he looks. Yay!

He is about as tall as GLaDOS in human form- meaning slightly taller than Chell. [sorry Chell- you _are _kinda short] He is wearing a blue jumpsuit with the Aperture logo on the front, and has antigrav boots because he can. He has green eyes and short spiky brown hair. He is also wearing glasses.

"Woohoo!" Feep yelled, and then promptly tackle-hugged The Announcer- who shall be called Announcer for short.

"Is she always like this?" muttered Announcer from the floor.

"Yup." Rishi grinned.

"Anyway!" Feep said as she got up off of Announcer. "The defective turrets are already here- they're just really quiet… okay fine, I had to add them, but they're here now!" She said defensively.

- Wheatley: For at least one chapter, don't speak at all. Not even when being dared or when GLaDOS insults you.

"Uh…" Rishi said. "Isn't there some rule against impossible dares…?"

"These guys are from Aperture- NOTHING'S impossible. Trust me." Feep walked off into the antigrav room and returned three seconds later with a rather beaten Wheatley.

"He kept ramming into the walls." Was all of Feep's explanation.

"Anyway, you can't talk. For the rest of the chapter. Unless a dare requires you to. Have fun!" she said cheerfully- then pushed him back into the antigrav room.

After a few moments, Rishi piped up: "Does screaming count as talking?"

"It better not," said Feep, "Otherwise he'd be done by now."

- Intelligence: Say something that isn't a recipe of any kind.

"Hey Intel!" Feep barked. "Get in here!" Intelligence walked into the room from the kitchenish area, obviously confused.

"Say something that isn't a recipe."

"Fine." He said, and then walked back into the kitchen.

"Uh, I guess that counts. Technically." Feep said.

"Very technically." Rishi agreed.

- Oracle: Foreshadow something in this story.

"It's too bad that Feep vaporized the key to that door. It's locked tighter than a drum." Ora sighed.

OMINOUS FORESHADOWING

- ATLAS and P-body: Spread Repulsion Gel onto part of the Central AI Chamber (not all of it, or you'll cause problems for the human characters) and then play in that area. Everyone else gets to watch. GLaDOS does not get to insult you or tell you to stop in any way (including glaring, trying to disassemble you, etc.).

Feep laughed. "Oh yeah! Heeyy! ATLAS! P-body! Get in here! We got a 'dare' for you!"

And so we gave them Repulsion Gel to spread everywhere. And when we say EVERYWHERE…

"Waaagh!" yelped Arya as he bounced off the wall directly into the path of Rishi. Who tripped over him and fell onto one of the ninjas, who hit the ceiling and bounced into me, who shot off like a rocket into Jeffrey. Wait, WHAT?

"Ooohhh goddamnit we are SCREWED ALL TO HELL!" Screamed William, who proceeded to _try_ to 'duck and cover' behind the sandwich table, but really only managed to fling himself into the Repulsion Gel-covered floor and bounced about twenty feet to the ceiling. And then hit the ceiling, causing him to smack into ATLAS, who really didn't care much because _he _was flying across the room at a speed that would put a rocket to shame.

Yup, complete pandemonium. Very bouncy pandemonium.

"Wait, who's driving?" asked Rishi.

"Uhhhh… funny you asked…" Said Feep, who was currently ricocheting off of the walls.

"… no one's driving, are they?"

"Well, it's not who you think."

"Wha-"

"Companion Cube is."

"…"

"Yeaaahhhh…"

"But she's over there."

"Oh. Well then yes, no one's driving."

"Crap."

"You said it."

Until, very spontaneously, the fire sprinklers turned on, soaking everyone and washing off the Gel. Why, you ask? Well…

"Uh guys Jeffrey's on fire."

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Well, after _that _little incident, lo and behold! We were at the beach! Mainly because Companion Cube stepped on the gas so hard we punched through a brick wall on our way- but I digress. The point is, we were here.

Therefore…

Okay, I dare Chell to have P-Body or ATLAS set up a infinite loop for her, and then after fifteen seconds of falling, fire a portal at a slanted panel...Outside, of course, preferably at a beach.

"Chell, I most sincerely hope you know how to swim."

Turns out, after Chell got cannon'd into the ocean, just about everyone else wanted to try too. Except GLaDOS, but really, what can you do?

"Drag Her over and push Her in, apparently." Commented Rishi, as he watched Feep shove GLaDOS into the infinite loop.

And it was also at about this point that other people at the beach noticed the setup. After a few 'HOLY F*** IT'S [insert Portal Character Here]'s, we had a pretty good line waiting to be cannon'd. Charging 25 cents a go too also helped.

Oh, come on GLaDOS, they're just bunny ears.

Dares:

Go here: /proud-finland.

Somehow obtain that lion. Everyone gets a turn to ride it yelling "GO GO RETARDED LION!" around the room. GLaDOS and the cores need to be put in android bodies, of course. This is meant to be fun, not punishing.

Also, Chell, do you still have that crowbar? Don't just stand there with it, have fun!

(if you read the reviews aloud, don't read this one aloud. Pass it along in secret to everyone but GLaDOS)

At some random point in the chapter, everyone suddenly stop what they're doing and stare at GLaDOS in an extremely confused way. Make the awkward moment last as long as you can before bursting out laughing. Then calmly resume whatever it was that you were doing. Explain nothing to Her.

Truth:

GLaDOS, what gave you the idea to start calling Chell fat when even Combine OverWiki describes her as thin?

Cave Johnson, Aperture started out making shower curtains. Tell me, what EXACTLY is the function of a rubber duck?

Curiosity, what is that, over there? (points randomly)

"Oh man YES." Feep grinned somewhat evilly. As she began to read the dares, she secretly passed the note along to everyone except GLaDOS.

Go here: /proud-finland.

Somehow obtain that lion. Everyone gets a turn to ride it yelling "GO GO RETARDED LION!" around the room. GLaDOS and the cores need to be put in android bodies, of course. This is meant to be fun, not punishing.

Also, Chell, do you still have that crowbar? Don't just stand there with it, have fun!

"Weeelll?" Feep asked. "Who's first?" And about a million hands shot up.

"Only the guys with me." Okay, now there were only about 20.

"Alright, ATLAS, you're first. Once down the beach- I suspect some people haven't seen us yet. GO!"

"Yes, Chell still has the crowbar. And if you SAW what she did in that bus…"

"They didn't. We fast-forwarded that part, remember?"

"OH right. So here."

"Basically- You know I think Chell is a ninja, right? Well, the other ninjas were skeptical, so I asked her to prove it, and…"

"Well. If you haven't seen what a crowbar and a pair of Long Fall Boots can do to human flesh- it's best not to know. Really."

"TL;DR: She kicked their asses. Hard."

"And back to the story!"

GLaDOS, what gave you the idea to start calling Chell fat when even Combine OverWiki describes her as thin?

GLaDOS, who was sitting by the edge of the water after we, uh, cannonlaunched her, looked up briefly before answering.

"Well, that's generally what I taunted the other subjects with. I didn't really give it all that much thought…"

Cave Johnson, Aperture started out making shower curtains. Tell me, what EXACTLY is the function of a rubber duck?

"To test for sharks!"

"You got that from a Calvin and Hobbes strip, didn't you."

Cave hid the book behind his back. "Uh… no I didn't?"

Curiosity, what is that, over there? (points randomly)

"Someone screaming!" Indeed, the random point had singled out some random kid being launched into the ocean.

Rishi's exact expression: 0_o

"Uhhh… alrighty then!"

Atlas: Fill a turret with Helium, then put it in the wing made entirely of glass.

P-body: jump into a infinite portal loop inside a airless glass tunnel, stay there for 10 minutes, then recreate the top portal outside on the ground.

And finally, I dare you(Feep) to make an infinite portal loop, throw Space in, and then fire a portal at a flat-on-the-ground panel(Again, outside), see if you can make him get into space that way!

"Oh well gee, two infinite loop dares!" Feep said, feigning surprise. "Anyway…"

"Hey, how about P-body holds onto Space as they go shooting up into God GLaDOS-knows-where?" Arya suggested.

"Huh. There's an idea. P-body! Space!" Rishi yelled, after taking an ASHPoD and creating an infinite loop. "How do you two feel about rockets?"

"Oh, and, HEY ATLAS!" Feep shouted. "Here's some helium and a turret. I'm _sure _you know what to do with these…"

"OH MY GOD THEY'RE COMIN' DOWWWNNNNN!"

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"Ouch." Everyone was back at the… room… place, and P-body and Space were a bit bruised. Then again, falling 10,000 feet tends to do that to a body.

"Well, due to majority vote-"

"Remind me why we cast a vote with these people."

"Democracy, my dear Rishi. It's a bitch."

"AHEM. Due to majority vote- and the fact that the chapter was obscenely fun- and the fact that I FEEL LIKE IT- we are going on an _actual _vacation next chapter. So dares and/or truths are mostly on hold for now, sorry. We will take a few, however. But- you can send in a few OC's to come with us! Human or animal, please. And with that, here's who's coming:"

-Chell

-GLaDOS

-Wheatley

-Rick

-Space

-Fact

- ATLAS

- P-body

-Curiosity

-Oracle Turret

- The Announcer

-FeeptheNinja

-Rishi

-Arya

-A.J.

- William

- Jeffrey the Creeper

"And we'll take 4 OCs. Everyone else is staying behind."

"So review me your OCs and your suggestions as to where the hell we should be going."

"And I suppose we'll see you later!"

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OC Application:

Name:

Gender:

Species:

Appearance (clothing & such):

Personality:

Other Things I Should Probably Know:

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"Wait, why the hell is Jeffrey coming?"

"Comic relief. Also, endless explosives."

"Ah."

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**Yes, I think Creepers are cute/awesome. Got a problem with that? :3**


	6. Chapter 6

Rishi waved at the cameras. "Well, hello again. And welcome back to yet another level of the realm of insanity."

A young girl flyingtacklehugged him, knocking him to the ground. And you all know who she is.

"HI RISHI! WHEN DO WE GET TO GO?" Corah yelled directly into his ear, grinning somewhat insanely.

Before Rishi could protest, however, someone yanked the hyper girl off by her shirt collar.

"Dammit, Corah! Geez, I never noticed how utterly insane you were until now." Feep growled.

"Well, she _did_ create you. I think you'd have to be at least slightly crazy to do _that_." Rishi offered as he picked himself off and brushed the dirt off of his clothes.

Feep muttered something unintelligible, then replied "Whelp, she's here and there's not much we can do about it. Shall we go read off the schedule to the others?"

Rishi groaned. "Lemme get my earplugs first."

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"WHAT?"

Everyone gaped at the pair as they explained the terms of their trip.

"You are KIDDING ME." GLaDOS snarled.

"Three days?" Wheatley cried.

"In a van?" Yelled Curiosity, who was feeling left out.

"{With HER?}" Chell typed, gesturing to the thirteen-year-old currently latched onto her back.

Oh, yeah. We solved the problem of Chell disliking talking by giving her a tiny wristwatch computer. She types on it, and the words appear in a hologram comically shaped like a speech bubble. Anyway, back to the halfway-ish story of crack.

"No, Yes, Technically It's a Bus/Limo/Van, and I'm Afraid So." Feep answered all four.

They all groaned, except for Curi, who was really just asking the question for the sake of asking it.

"Oh, but THAT'S NOT ALL!" Feep yelled in a voice that resembled a game-show announcer on amphetamines.

"{Oh God.}"

"We've got some OC'S JOINING US!" Feep yelled as loud as she possibly could.

After the initial soundwave, Feep shrugged apologetically. "Sorry. This voice-activated portal only works if I yell."

-Chell

-GLaDOS

-Wheatley

-Rick

-Space

-Fact

- ATLAS

- P-body

-Curiosity

-Oracle Turret

- The Announcer

-FeeptheNinja

-Rishi

-Arya

-A.J.

- William

- Jeffrey the Creeper

- Kaiser Von Raubtiere

- Mirage Shinkiro-Mujitsu

- Kari-Lan, Dagger

-Neko Silvers

"First off: Kaiser! Wait, KAISER?" Feep did a double-take.

As the canid ninja-flipped through the portal, Feep high-fived him.

"Kaiser! What brings you here?" Feep grinned.

"Insanity. What else?" he grinned as Mirage leapt through as well.

"OH MY GOD HAAAAIIIIIIIII~" Corah, as per the usual, latched on to Kaiser's back and refused to let go.

"Whoa. You're two people now?" Kaiser grunted as he attempted to pry Corah loose, eventually giving up.

"Yeah… long story. Too bad Leonard couldn't make it though. Oh, he and GLaDOS~" Feep grinned somewhat evilly.

"…" GLaDOS suddenly made it a point to put as much distance from the pair of canids and her as possible.

Name: Kaiser (Von Raubtiere)

Species: Male Lucario - Canid Human (Google Liru)

Appearance: I have brown bed-head hair like Ash Ketchum with fox ears. I am tan for a caucasian guy and sport a blue headband with a Pokeball symbol on it and a black t-shirt with well-worn denim jeans. On the t-shirt is a ME GUSTA face stating "I'm with sexy." My eyes are an ocean blue that relax people when I smile and terrify others with a glare frightening enough to make GLaDOS uneasy. I am decently built. My friends think it's impressive, but I'm not amazed by it. My girlfriend claims it's "enough to make any woman swoon." My shoes are black with blue detailing with a light yellow pair of socks. I can often be seen wearing fingerless gloves: a neon blue one with a neon orange Aperture logo, the other a color-swap. My tail matches my hair.

Other: I may be the most screwed-up, but nicest guy you know; crazier than you. If you so much as lay a finger on my girlfriend without permission though, I will cut your limbs of with a rusty saw until you bleed out so I can personally send you to the tenth level of hell. In human form I can control any animal and turn people into animals, but I'm just a Lucario when not. My name literally means 'Emperor of Predators.' P.S.: I LIEK HUGGLEZ! I am also GLaDOS' fanboy. We ARE American. We just like foreign languages.

Name: Mirage Shinkiro-Mujitsu

Species: Female Zoroark - Canid Human

Appearance: She has the most luxurious red, silky hair that curls at the bottom of each strand, each a jet black. She has adorable black fox ears and crystal like eyes that show calm with a hint of playfulness in them. Her tail is like a paint brush almost: black with red at the end resembling Amaterasu's (Google Okami). She normally wears a smoky colored camo tank-top and a dark black pair of pants with her bracelet of blue gems that look like her hair band in her Zoroark form. Her high-heel shoes are a black as deep as her curls with a bright red at the tips. Her soft skin is regular in color like a normal caucasian should be.

Other: She's the most erratic woman you could find, always forming some sort of mischief. As a humanoid she retains her Illusion technique from her species and almost too often uses it to play pranks on every person she meets. She is actually so spasmodic that if you were to stay in the same room as her and do nothing, she would randomly yell "IMMA BRONTOSAURUS!" and tackle you. If you question her motives, while still sitting on you would put on her guiltiest, most innocent face and say in a cute tone, "I dunno."

"NEXT!" Feep yelled.

Name: Kari-Lan, Dagger (preferred name)

Gender: Female

Species: Echidna Anthro

Appearance (clothing & such): Wears a Purplish-Pinkish vest and Silver boots with a black "X" across the toe on each boot. She is Albino with black sclera and neon lime green irises. She's slightly shorter than P-Body and she is 11.

Personality: She's impulsive, a hothead, and can get loopy if she drinks Litha juice. (Litha roses are thorny roses that have an alcholic juice in a bulb behind the petals)

Other Things I Should Probably Know: She will fall asleep with her eyes open, she likes to scare people, and she has a half-black, half-white female cat that can split itself into two cats, similar to Tat from Klonoa, but with red eyes and a green snake for a tail. It's name is Divi.

"AND NEXT AGAIN!"

Name: Neko Silvers

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Appearance (clothing & such): Green tank top. Jean short shorts. Tannish skin tone and caramel colored hair. Worn-out sneakers. Gray-green eyes. Aperture logo obviously drawn with a pen on the back of her hand. Slim and strong.

Personality: Neko is a very determined girl, but is very friendly to people she likes. Around new people she comes off a bit harsh and angry. Is always brutally honest. Fiercely loyal. Is a complete tomboy. Is Chell's biggest fan. Around people she knows and likes: Energetic and optimistic and random. Pretty much bounces around regardless of gravity. Eats a lot of Popsicles-once ate twelve in six hours despite her brother's protests. Twin brother named Nick. Loves blueberries. Lots of hugs. Grip on reality in some situations questionable.

Other Things I Should Probably Know: She hates Wheatley on the outside for betraying her in the game, but on the inside she just wants her old opinion and friendship with Wheatley back.

"YAYYYYYYYYY~" Corah made it a point to detach from Kaiser and reattach somewhere in Neko's vicinity.

"Does she always…"

"YES."

"Aaannnyywwwaayyyy. TO THE BUS!"

_**THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!**_

"Well that wasn't random at all." Rishi said dryly.

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However, as soon as our intrepid gang of lunatics boarded the van:

"Geez, what took YOU so long?" A certain yellow electric-commanding mouse asked.

"8D PIKACHU~"

"Ackthp! Leggo, leggo! You are crushing the air out of my breathing apparatuses!" Pikachu began to gasp for air.

Oracion just stared before deciding to keep his metaphorical mouth shut for the time being.

"Guys! What are _you_ doing here?" Feep asked.

"Well," Meta Knight said as he leapt down from his perch on the rafters, "Pikachu and Oracion decided it would be a good idea to join you guys. Personally, I did not. Mainly for that reason." He nodded at Corah.

"Eheheheh…" Feep rubbed the back of her neck, a tad embarrassed.

"Poyo? Poypoypoyopoyo-poy?" Kirby came squeaking out from the general kitchen area.

Cue Arya acting exactly like Corah was at the moment.

Feep sighed. "Better get unpacked, guys. It's gonna be a LONG three days."

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Meanwhile, at a house in God-Knows-Where, a brown haired woman was attempting to study for her college exam when she heard a knock on the door.

"We don't want any!" she yelled. This did not deter the knocking.

The name of this woman was Jeanette. She had three children.

One of them was Corah.

"Who could that be?" she grumbled as she walked to the door. "Lynn and Maitland are at their grandfather's… I'm pretty sure Corah's at a friend's house…"

She opened the door to find Caroline staring at her.

"Hi!" Caroline greeted.

Jeanette blinked. "Who are you?"

"This is Corah's house, correct?" Caroline asked, ignoring Jeanette's previous statement.

"Yes…" she answered, growing increasingly suspicious. "Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, right! My name is Caroline Johnson!" Caroline shook Jeanette's hand. "You know, from _Portal 2_?"

"Right- Wait. But-"

"Yes, it's a video game. But it is based off of a true story. Which means that your daughter's crazy ramblings about GLaDOS and being a test subject do hold some meaning. But we don't accept test subjects until 16, so she's good until then." Caroline informed Jeanette.

"The point is we need somewhere to stay until they get back, and she referred us to here. So I guess we'll be staying here for a few days."

Jeanette, after thinking about the possibilities this created, decided 'to hell with it' and started back to her bedroom to study. "Just don't destroy the house."

"Sure!"

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"I wonder what the others are doing?" William wondered idly.

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Feep was growing increasingly suspicious of Corah's erratic movement and thought pattern.

"Rishi, I know she's crazy, but not _this _crazy. Something's up…" She narrowed her eyes in thought.

"Come to think of it… do you smell oranges…?" Rishi muttered.

The pair suddenly sat bolt upright and stared at each other.

"Oh…" Feep breathed.

"No…" Rishi groaned.

They ran into the fridge and found exactly what they'd expected.

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"{So… _Why_ is she acting more sporadic than usual?}" Chell typed, puzzled.

"Because of this." Feep held up an open can of Propulsion Gel.

"She's been _eating _that? But I thought that was poisonous!" Wheatley exclaimed.

"No," Kaiser interjected, "But it does contain insane amounts of sugar and caffeine."

"Actually, the only Gels that are toxic are Conversion, Repulsion, and Acid." Rishi said. "Speaking of, we should probably tell you what each Gel does when ingested."

- Repulsion Gel (blue): Jellifies your skeleton. **AVOID. **Smells like blueberries. Flavor: Blue Raspberry

- Propulsion Gel (orange): Sends you on the world's biggest sugar rush. Smells like oranges. Flavor: Orange

- Conversion Gel (white): Gives you cancer. **AVOID. **Smells like flour. Flavor: Marshmallow

- Acid Gel (red): Dissolves everything it touches. Including you. **AVOID. **Smells like cinnamon. Flavor: Hot Tamale

- Adhesion Gel (purple): Has sedative properties. Smells like lavender. Flavor: Grape

- Reversion Gel (black): Acts like alcohol. Smells about the same, too. Flavor: Blackberry

- Elasticity Gel (yellow): Has the wonderful ability to make you puke. Smells like bananas. Flavor: Banana

- Protection Gel: Doesn't really do anything. Smells like TEAM SPIRIT- no, sorry, kiwi. Flavor: Kiwi

- Circuitry Gel (pink): LSD, anyone? Smells like peppermint. Flavor: Pepto-Bismol. I'm not kidding.

"Alright, that should be sufficient information to warn/ give people wonderful ideas for pranks." Feep nodded.

"Wait. I've eaten that stuff- the orange- before, and it took a metric-shittonne to get me that hyper!" Pikachu said, referring of course to the absent Corah.

"Weelll, she's kinda insane to begin with. She also has a very, very low tolerance for it." Rishi explained sheepishly.

"Come to think of it, she doesn't have high tolerance to the Gels in general." Feep mused.

Speak of the devil, Corah came hurtling into the room, pouncing on Chell's back and knocking her to her knees.

"Hi! Why is everyone in here and did I mention that Propulsion Gel tastes like oranges and also Kirby's in the back eating stuff and hi GLaDOS i like GLaDOS -" Corah babbled directly into Chell's ear, causing the woman to flinch at the sheer volume.

"{Uhh- here! Do you like grape?}" Chell typed, holding out a small can of Adhesion.

"Ummmsortakindanotreally. Do you want me to eat it?" Corah asked.

"{… Yes…?}"

Two seconds later, Corah was passed out on Chell's back, still firmly holding on.

Chell looked half relieved, half puzzled.

"{I thought she didn't like grape?}"

"Chell, she'd jump off of a cliff directly into the path of a jillion Thermal Discouragement Beams and crusher panels if you or GLaDOS asked her to." Feep informed Chell dryly.

"{What if one of _you_ asked?}"

"She'd flip us off, push us in, and run off to find more Propulsion Gel."

"Then how come she doesn't get off of me when I ask her?" GLaDOS fumed.

"Well, you were threatening her. Also, she _really _hates breaking off a hug."

"{Duly noted.}" Chell typed, gesturing to the child still attached to her back.

"Yeah." Feep laughed nervously.

"So she's sort of like a pet dog?" GLaDOS asked, arching an eyebrow.

"In the loosest sense, yes."

"Well-" Rishi was interrupted by Pikachu hollering "WHO WANTS TO PLAY GO FISH WITH LIVE PIRANHAS AND A METRIC SHITTONNE OF CARDS?"

Everyone's hand went up in an instant.

Oracion's expression: 0_e

"I have much to learn about human nature." He mumbled.

"Too late, sucker." Pikachu chuckled. "Pay up and go get the cards."

Oracion growled something unintelligible under his breath as he slapped a 100 Pokè bill into Pikachu's outstretched paw, and turned to find the cards.

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"OW! DAMMIT!" Feep yelled as another Carvanha bit into her arm.

Rishi looked down at his hand and tossed it into the water. "I fold…" he slightly slurred as he attempted to stand and leave.

Wheatley groaned from his position on the ground. "Whaaaat the bloody 'ell did Intellllligence _put _in that puuunch?"

"3 cups of Adhesion Gel, 3 cups of Reversion Gel, 4 cups of Protection Gel, ½ cup of orange juice…" Intel rattled off with a self satisfied smirk.

Chell had long since joined Corah on the floor, out like a light.

"That would explain it." Feep grumbled. "Alright, bedtime, let's go."

GLaDOS hefted Chell off of the floor. "I swear, she's the lightest 20-something I've ever seen."

"Yeah, light-weight too. She only had like three cups." Arya pointed out.

"And how many did _you_ have?"

Arya finished off his current cup. "Eleventeen and four-thirds." He proclaimed before slumping backwards.

Feep facepalmed as she lifted Corah and walked off in the direction of the bedrooms.

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"Feep…?"

Feep growled and rolled over.

"Feep…!"

"_What._" Feep snarled as she opened her eyes to find Corah standing over her.

"I had a nightmare…" Corah whimpered.

Feep groaned. "So?"

"I'm scaaarrreeddd~" she wailed.

Feep grit her teeth. "Corah, it is currently _1:00 in the morning. _What. Do. You. Need?"

"Can I sleep with you?" Corah asked.

"No."

"Please?"

"NO. Go bother Chell or someone." Feep rolled back over and shut her eyes.

"But… but…"

"GO. AWAY."

Corah whimpered plaintively as she stumbled down the hallway, eventually coming across Chell, Wheatley, and GLaDOS's room. She gently pushed the door open and walked to Chell's bed, trying fervently not to awaken GLaDOS.

"Chell…?"

"{What now?}" Chell typed slowly, glaring at Corah.

"Can… can I sleep with you?" she whispered.

"{Why?}" Chell typed.

"I had a nightmare, and Feep won't let me sleep with her!"

"{Big surprise there.}" Chell typed with a dry expression.

"Pleeeaaassseee?" Corah put on the best puppy-dog eyes she could possibly muster.

"{Alright, alright, fine.}" Chell sighed, and patted the bed next to her.

Corah smiled and immediately snuggled right up next to Chell.

Chell rolled her eyes. "{You are such a kid.}"

Corah said nothing and only curled closer to Chell.

"{Kick me in the middle of the night and you die.}"

"Mmn."

**A/N: Feep has no sympathy for Corah. D:**

**Next chap= next day. And the three days start tomorrow. *rubs hands together in maniacal glee* MUAHAHAHA.**

**Also: Send in Truths Or Dares if you like, but no guarantee they'll be used immediately.**

**Suggest crazy crap to happen on the bus and win four gallons of the Gel of your choice! **

**Current Character List: (aka who the hell's on the bus)**

**-Chell**

**-GLaDOS**

**-Wheatley**

**-Rick**

**-Space**

**-Fact**

**- ATLAS**

**- P-body**

**-Curiosity**

**-Oracle Turret**

**- The Announcer **

**-FeeptheNinja**

**-Rishi**

**-Arya**

**-A.J.**

**- William**

**- Jeffrey the Creeper**

**- Kaiser Von Raubtiere**

**-****Mirage Shinkiro-Mujitsu**

**- Kari-Lan, Dagger**

**-Neko Silvers**

**-Pikachu**

**-Oracion**

**-Kirby**

**-Meta Knight**


End file.
